If you haven’t got a brand, you haven’t got a life. This is especially true on social media. The better your profile on social media the better your chances are at succeeding in your personal life and in your business. Today we will examine how best to boost your social media profile, so it will withstand the scrutiny of cynics and dazzle the wide wide world. And remember, the so-called ‘truth’ on social media is as flexible as a snake without a skeleton!

 

What’s in a name?

Your username is the key to other people finding you on social media. If you want them flocking to your sites, think twice before using something like httr://twitter.com/boogerbreath. Some handles that would be more successful are variations on such usernames as FreeBeer or IGIveMoneyAway.

 

Your profile photograph

Let’s face it; most people are as homely as five miles of bad road. So the purpose of a social media profile picture is to HIDE your natural features, not DISPLAY them. This can be done by wearing a colorful ski mask. Or photoshopping an old photo of Tom Cruise, adding a mustache and/or breasts.

 

Bio con brio

The secret to a great bio on social media is to concentrate on assertions that cannot possibly be proven, one way or the other. For instance, if you say you have a degree in philosophy from the Washington Theological Union, which, according to Wikipedia, closed down for good in 2015, how is anyone possibly going to call your bluff? Or you can claim to have spent your childhood collecting elephant dung at Ringling Brothers circus to donate to urban gardens. Since they folded up their tents and disappeared six months ago, who’s to know any better?

SME Paid Under

By Adam

Adam is an owner at Nanohydr8. He really loves comedy and satire, and the written word in general.